Sir Paul McCartney soon to be made saint


Sir Paul McCartney yesterday put on a brave face after a terrible few months following the bitter divorce battle with his evil, money grabbing wife Mucca Mills Mucca McCartney when he attended the launch of his latest album 'Money for old rope', at New York's famous HMV store.  


Sir Paul heroically smiled and waved at the hoards of screaming fans before speaking briefly through an intercom system, thanking them all for coming and reminding them to buy the album. 


One besotted fan told us: "We've been here for a good 4 hours in the pissing rain and all we get is a 10 second Tonnoy announcement.  We did kinda hope he'd maybe come out just so that we could see him." 


The album, which includes a few of his resent hits like 'Tossing off another load of tuneless love songs', and 'All you need is (are) royalties', has been hailed as a musical masterpiece.  One music critic even went as far as to say: "Its like the way the beetle used to be, had the beetle been a bit crap". 


Other less well know and frankly pathetic critics have suggested that it might not have the quality of previous albums.  These critics are, however, petty minded and just stupid. 


Evil Charlatan mucca. Just look how evil she looks

Their views are certainly not shared by Jane Asherton, who had travelled all the way from New Zealand to see her idol.  She was practically overcome with 'Maccamania' when she told us: "Is that it?  A fucking Tannoy announcement?  Fuck sake!"



A spokesman for Sir Paul later explained: "Sir Paul had intended to come outside and shake a few hands.  This however was not possible due to the fact that it was a bit nippy out and it's always a right pain in the arse, what with some of the idiots you get at these things".


The superstar did later greet a few lucky fans who where fortunate enough to be able to afford the $5000 fee.   


In related news...  

Macca Mucca Mika Mecca Mocca moola


Singer Mika was told off by waitress for putting his feet on the chair


In a freak set of circumstances, Sir Paul McCartney and estranged wife Heather Mills met to discus the divorce settlement in a Coffee shop in a Mecca bingo hall.  They where joined by close friend of Sir Paul, singer Mika, and it's believed that the three of them attempted to thrash out a financial settlement.


More on this story to follow…


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