Government in yet another 'data loss' scandal

 

Last night the government was embroiled in yet another data loss scandal as it emerged that data belonging to thousands on people has once again 'gone missing'.

 

It is believed that the names, addresses and telephone numbers of almost all of the people in the Greater Glasgow area are now in the public domain when a telephone book went missing from a telephone box in the West end of the city. 

 

It is thought that the 'book' disappeared around 3am late Saturday morning and could have been 'stolen to order' by a gang of underground drug runners.  It is not known at this point if the data was encrypted however security expert Bob Fingersmith of the internet security company www.knockedoff.com told us: "I think that it is unlikely that the data in this book would have been encrypted, however, some personal details may be safely hidden under the usual piss and sick stains.  As far as we can tell, the only security measures currently being used to secure data held this way is a chain attached to the wall."

 

It's yet another shocking embarrassment for the Government who have had a spate of data loss embarrassments over the last few months.  Data consumer expert and freedom of data campaigner Jane Busybody last night expressed her concerns about the news: "This is just totally unacceptable.  Imagine what this data could do if it where to fall into the wrong hands.  The government need to act today to prevent paedophiles and drug dealers from being able to sell on this information to terrorists and wife beaters."

 

?
The Phone box, or possibly a phone box yesterday.

She went on: "You might be sitting in your house one night minding your own business and the next thing you know you are getting phone calls from people you don't know asking you if there's a Huge Janis in your house.  I bet you wouldn't see the funny side in that, would you?"

 

"The government need to act today to prevent paedophiles and drug dealers from being able to sell on this information to terrorists and wife beaters"
Data Consumer expert Jane Busybody

 

"Don't get me wrong, I'm all for freedom of information.  I just don't want it to be my information.  I'd much prefer it to be information on people who look a bit dodgy and sit in their house all day like some sort of nonce."

 

Today the government department responsible for data protection released the following statement: "What are you fucking people on?"

 

The row continues.
 
     
 
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