Local man confused by news


A local man yesterday was confused by the news, it was claimed.


The man, who lives locally, became puzzled by what appeared to be an article in his local newspaper, The Local Herald.  The article gave detail of a marriage between Barry and Bianca, at a church in the area of Walford.


The man told us: "The story started off innocuous enough with some details relating to two people getting married.  Simple, rather dull story that, to be honest, you would wonder why it’s in the paper at all.  Anyway, where the hell is Walford?  I'm sure its not around here.  Why is it in my local paper?"


The man continued, "There didn't seem to be anything unique about the couple either.  One work in the local pub and the other worked in a launderette.  Not exactly what I would call high profile."


"It was when I started to read a little further that things got confusing.  It appeared that the man, who was earlier refer to as Barry was in fact called Simon, and the woman used to be nurse in casualty."


"I thought to myself 'What's going on here.'  Then more anomalies.  Apparently the man had been convicted of murder and had previously been involved in drugs, while the woman had been divorced three times, once to dirty Den and had also been dead in the Bill."


The man's wife, who also lives locally, then got involved.  She told us: "It was at this point that he shouts me through to have a look.  I couldn't believe what I was reading.  Apparently the man, who was either called Barry or Simon and was either an actor or worked in a pub, also once flew as a fighter pilot at the Second World War.  I couldn't make head nor tail of it."


The woman had been divorced three times, once to dirty Den
The man's wife chipped in

The woman then started to shake her head and wave her hands about in an 'I couldn't make head not tail of it' kind of way.


She continued: "Meanwhile, the woman, who don't forget is Marrying Barry, or perhaps Simon, is currently married to James Bond."


Later the same day, the couple got confused by sign proclaiming Sale last week’.

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